Lauren Berlant and Michael Warner’s Sex in Public summarizes a few key ideas about the problems with heteronormativity. Heteronormativity refers to the world view that heterosexuality is the preferred and correct form of sexual orientation. Sex in Public is not about sexual acts in public, it is about the analysis of sexuality within our society. Society is structured according to heterosexuality, and this is followed by the rules that are made by polite and picture perfect families residing within the community. This structure creates a set of accepted social norms and behaviors that is supposed to help us recognize a “good” couple from a “not so good’ couple. These social codes determine who and what is proper and beneficial to society.

In a proper society, a home is for a family, a good family has good credit, and a good family has savings and go on vacations. Anything that promotes good family values is encouraged. If you don’t have a family, then society will say that you are lonely, need help for depression, or pushed to find a proper life partner for companionship. Heteronormativity is far ore concerned with how you behave in public. A heterosexual couple may not be having intercourse at all, but they can still be considered heteronormative if they behave in the way that a “good” couple should.

What most of normative society do not realize is that heteronormativity has privilege. Heterosexual standards try to dominate the queers in every way possible. Normative society believes that heterosexuality is the only way to link intimacy to a proper personal life. If a gay couple attempts to be a part of the society then they can only be accepted if they marry and raise kids “just like everyone else.” Gays and queers must be swept under the rug of normative society, and this is the privilege that heteronormativity possesses. Anything that falls outside of the normative structure is a choice and can/should be changed to fit the “correct” social order.